I can not use a SINGLE ONE of the websites I use daily, and it's starting to really piss me off. Both Twitter & the Daily Plate are failing to load. I'm aware that some frigging moron - or group of morons - thought it would be fun to launch a punk/DoS attack on twitter. I have no idea what the DP's problem is. I can't get into a few other places either, so I suppose it's just the Day of the Asshole or Malfunctioning Web today.
I'm going back on anti-depressants so that I can actually live life and get things done. I started a new one Tuesday night, and it knocked me on my ass. In addition to making me feel like I hadn't slept in 48-72 hours, it also made me cranky, weepy, a little more hungry than usual, and almost completely lacking in impulse-control. Part of my brain actually figured hitting people who irritated me in the face with shovels was a perfectly reasonable response to the irritation. Thankfully, the rest of my brain was in control and knew that would be A Bad Thing To Do. Still, it made for an extremely trying 36 hours, during which I got into a huge fight with the boyfriend, found it really difficult not to hit my dogs, and said really inappropriate things to everyone else I had contact with. I also cried a LOT and felt utterly wiped out and exhausted, without the strength to get thru the 5 minutes immediately following, let alone the rest of my life. It was still hazing me when I woke up this morning at 9:30, despite my not having taken it last night, because I had to be lucid to talk to EDD & B&N corporate today. I went back to bed around 11, and when I woke up at 2, I was clear of it, at last. I will be phoning my doctor tomorrow to tell him there is No Way In Hell I will be taking THAT again. (It was mirtazapine - aka Remeron - for those of you keeping score or considering it yourself.) I am mortified at the things I said when I went on a dog walk with my neighbors. I said bad stuff to my long, no-longer-lost friend Vanessa on the phone, too, but at least she knows me enough to write off the really wacky stuff. The neighbors don't, and trust me when I tell you, I was a bit psycho. (And THAT ought to really freak out long-time readers of the KD blog.) :(
Vanessa is a post for another day; we finally found each other again after 29 years, and I'm thrilled. We were really tight, back in the day, and I love her so much. I'm glad we have a mutual friend who was able to connect us - and that's a story in itself. :) Aside from my best friend Gayle, Vanessa is the friend I've had the longest. I've known her since 5th grade. It's nice to have a sense of history, you know? When your parents move you around a lot, and your family is broken on top of it, it's really hard to maintain any sense of history. The past disintegrates with every move and every broken connection to The Time Before. So yay for the return of lost friendships. :)
ttyl; peace out.
kd
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