Ahem.

I applied for a freelance writing position requiring character descriptions for a website that sells clothing and stuff for the cute-but-kinda-morbid set. In addition to the description, each character is accompanied by a rhyming poem, and the poem is what you had to send with your resume. The character they wanted a sample for is a seal. I thought of 2 other angles (greedy fish eater, practical jokester), but this is what I settled on:

Sassy the Seal did not care for rules;
She thought the word “no” was for suckers and fools.
Her parents were dumb and her teachers were lame,
Crossing the line was the name of her game.
One day as she swam near the “No Swimming” sign,
Sassy decided she’d swim right on by;
It was just one more rule for which she had scorn,
And Sassy’d had sass since the day she was born.
She never did see the sharks swimming near –
The reason the sign was placed there and not here –
And alas for poor Sassy, the moral is so:
Sometimes it’s wise to listen to “no.”


I'm bummed actually, that I could not work into that the following couplet, which I really love:

For a seal is a seal, and a shark is a shark,
And one has more teeth than the other has bark.

Aside from that, I got nothin'. I feel really under the weather and crummy. Also, I've done something whack to my elbow, and it HURTS in a major, major way and is just getting worse. I went to apply for a waiting job today (don't get me started on how much I don't want to do that), and when I came back to my car after the 30 whole seconds it took to walk up, hand the guy my resume, and walk back, my lights were on, and I discovered I'd locked my keys in the car. 90 minutes later, the tow truck guy arrived, popped the lock, and gave me a jump. An hour later, I went to pick up dinner, and they were out of what I'd ordered, which is the only thing I like there.

Yep. It's Monday.