Just because you can vent doesn't mean you should.

Sorry for that last entry. The little voice in my head said it wasn't appropriate to post, but I didn't listen. I have since changed it to draft so it won't show. Just because I need to vent doesn't mean you guys need to deal with my angst. Sorry.

Boy, has it been angsty here the last several months. *sigh*

So, I will be moving my computer out here to the garage. But I have to do my taxes first. Assuming I can hold out that long. The laptop has more problems than I knew. I cleared a gig off of it last night and then tried to run defrag, but it will only clear about 80% and then tells me there's an error with the drive and that I need to run scandisk. After 3 hours of unsuccessful attempts at that, I finally managed to get it done, but then when I went back to defrag, I got the same error message, and I can't get scandisk to run succesfully again - not that I should need to; there are no errors with the drive. Scandisk keeps telling me Windows is writing to the drive, so the process continually starts over. Defrag tells me there are errors and that the drive is being written to, and in safe mode, I keep getting the Screaming Blue Screen of Death. It's all I can do not to take a hammer to the keyboard, at this point. I ran Norton, but it finds nothing. Still, something is going on. Performance just keeps getting worse. All of which is a longwinded way of saying I'm jonesin' for the web and will probably crack really soon. I need email, people!!!

I took the pups on a walk during a break in the rain today, and they were so well-behaved, it was awesome. High on the success of that, I took them to Petco. You can imagine how well that went. They tag-teamed me, people. It was not pretty. I can't take them both in there anymore. It's just too frustrating, and I sound like the worst pet owner in the entire world to all the other people in there with dogs who do not require constant behavior checks. You know: dogs that do not bark at the other pets, sit the first time when told, and do not attack the cookie bar with wild abandon while their owners are trying to pay for purchases.

And what is up with that, anyway??? They're renovating the store near my house, and someone had the brilliant idea to put the cookie bar right next to the first cash register - the one that's usually the only one open when I'm in there. There are about 4' between the register and the cookies, and Napoleon - who is built like a tank but moves with the lightning speed of a cobra - views the cookie bar as his own personal smorgasbord. My life was a lot easier back in the halcyon days of intelligent cookie bar placement. Alas.

I need to get my teeth deep-cleaned. This fills me with serious anxiety because a) I really, really hate the dentist, and this is a visit I already know will end in pain, and lots of it; b) even with dental insurance it's at least a $300 procedure, and I have no money to pay for it, what with having no job and no unemployment benefit any longer; and c) the gingivitis thing is getting pretty bad and gross, and I know that the longer this goes on, the more damage I am doing to the roots of my teeth. Oy. Now I'm having an anxiety attack. Let's change the subject.

Napoleon looks so cute when he sleeps. Even though he's almost 8 months old, he still has a puppyish look about him. Razzle didn't look like a puppy at 8 months. He looked like a young dog, but a dog. Napoleon still looks puppyish, and when he sleeps, it's magnified by about 100. He's so aggro and hyper during the day, that catching him all quiet and vulnerable just melts me into a big gooey puddle of puppy love. I love both of them, but I admit, I feel more tender toward Napoleon. I'm sure it's the same dysfunctional part that falls for the worst guy in the world for me, thinking he's just tragically misunderstood.

Good lord. Law & Order is on, and once again, I am struck by how often the show hires the worst actors in the entire world to play the non-recurring roles. I don't watch the show generally, but I've had it on late nigths when I'm on the web or reading, just for background noise, don't ask me why. I don't watch it because I find the writing generally ridiculously melodramatic and sloppy, and because bad acting makes me want to hurt people. Seriously, I can't have it. It makes me absolutely insane, and there's no excuse for it. There are thousands of good actors auditioning in Hollywood (and thousands more who are merely serviceable) every single day who are passed over for no-talent hacks merely because someone found the hacks more attractive than the actual actors. I so very much wish we lived in a meritocracy. :( What I *do* like is the old Twilight Zone, and that comes on from 2-3am, so as soon as L&O is over, I'll be watching that, and then going to bed. :)

I'm going to make a run at my taxes this week. Cross your fingers and knock wood, please. I will need it. I'm also applying for an extension on unemployment. I really pray I get it and that it's the same amount it was, so that I can afford a visit to the dentist. (I have no credit anymore, so I don't qualify for a payment plan. Who'd a thought not owing money would make it harder to borrow? Jeebus.)

I had a paragraph here about how much I want to slap people like Mitch McConnell and his cronies until they cry, but I decided to make it go away. Suffice to say I can't believe the Republican party continues to flog the same dead horse they've been flogging for years - the same one that got us where we are now and has us sliding rapidly downhill. Mudslides are pretty destructive, people, and we're riding a helluva big one right now. :( Barney Frank was freaking awesome on Meet the Press today. I love Barney Frank. He might get a little out there now and again, but I have to love a guy who is not afraid to call bullshit, especially in Washington. And Barney Frank is not afraid to call it.

Okay, gotta go scrub my teeth for 10 minutes and floss, all to no avail. :( I welcome all ideas on how to handle that whole thing financially. :(

peace out,
katie