Dude! I NEED a Wii and Guitar Hero, damn it! It is so patently unfair that I do not have one. I can not believe that a) I went so long without ever participating in the wonder and marvel that is this videogame, and b) I had to leave it behind and come home to my house, a place without whammy bars and ripping song tracks. Oh, sure, there are real guitars in this house. A garage full. But I do not play those. I play a synth axe. A plastic marvel of innovation and creative genius, nirvana in lightweight molded polymer. I want to marry the guy who came up with Guitar Hero so that we can play it all the time and have little Guitar Hero babies, a veritable band of axe-slinging, bass-chewing, drum-pounding little geniuses in clunky black boots and artfully ripped jeans. I want to get so good at Guitar Hero that men weep for their failure at ever coming close to what I can achieve with 5 push buttons and a whammy bar o' death. And I want to play Eye of the Tiger without a single mistake. In my sleep. *sigh*
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